Emotional Authenticity is the ticket to Emotional Connection

The all-Loops fingerprint chart is one of the most interesting available at the Earth University. From a soul level, owners of this configuration have a total dedication to emotional growth, so one might expect life stories that focus exclusively on relationships. The reality is quite different. On a personality level one finds a dazzling variety of form. To simplify things, I have selected three representatives of The Butterfly clan to give an idea of just what is possible when one shows up at the Earth University with ten Loops. Whether you have the same fingerprint chart or not, there are some valuable lessons to be garnered by visiting our friends who decided on Loops as their fingerprint of choice.

Mario

Mario is a tall fellow with a calm presence, at peace with himself in a witty and warm way. He is the inventor of Aqua-Therapeutics, a trauma reducing therapy practiced in a warm pool. I had lunch with him yesterday along with Camille, another trauma expert who has pioneered a different approach in the same field. Mario had just come back from three weeks in the Middle East. Camille was either coming from or going to Russia, I didn't quite hear between the pasta and the salad. With these two experts present, if I freaked out at lunch, I couldn't have been in better hands. Earlier, I had enjoyed reading for each of them. Hand shape and line markings were completely different, interestingly however, both had the Butterfly pattern fingerprints. Mario first.

The Emotional Philosopher

Mario had the elongated, knobby, shoe-boxed shaped hands of the Philosopher type but the line markings were not analytic like most in this group. They were decidedly water / etheric (emotional / spiritual). Philosopher types are a remnant of the D'Arpentigny system of the 1830's, a palmistic demarcation point between ancient and modern hand reading. D'Arpentigny had been the first to classify hand shapes and for the next one hundred plus years most palmistry books showed pictures of his seven archetypes. Eager students like myself memorized them and hunted enthusiastically for live examples. In vain. They just weren't to be found. Either D'A. was horribly incorrect in his diagnostics or I was inept in my studies. I lingered between these two conclusions for hundreds of hands before deciding that the seven had morphed themselves into a whole series of different hand shapes today. Mario, however, was a living fossil of philosophical inclinations with an emotional depth and sensitivity not common to this or any classification.

I like the Philosophic type. They are seekers of truth, purists, idealistic, often visionary sorts living in a messy world not of their fabric. Leave them alone to think, discover, to debate the essentials of human existence and they are in their element. Ask them to negotiate a salary or get a date for the Prom and they on shakier ground. Advanced Philosophers have integrated their opposite (Axiom Three of Soul Psychology)) and fulfill Freud's ground rules for a good life, finding love and appropriate employment. However, this is a hand type with a high 'good life' casualty rate. The overwhelming majority of Philosophers wind up in their father's electric scrap business or some other God awful equally inappropriate job. Apparently, even at less than one percent of the population, there are still more Philosophers nowadays than appropriate jobs for them.

A Dragon Triathlon

Mario, unlike so many of his Platonic brethren, was not stuck at all. He loved his work and was wonderful at it. He had passed the first dragon, the first obstacle (a formidable one at that) on his life path. Good. The reading moved on to a key group of markings under the little finger that indicated the capability and imperative to go beyond right employment. Mario's hands were the hands of someone built for discovery. Not just any discovery: therapeutic discovery. Ida Rolf, Carl Jung, Stan Grof came to mind. The combination of qualities necessary for a person to take on such a role were challenging to imagine, no less to live, yet Mario had done exactly as his hands indicated wanted to be done. The second dragon had been met and defeated.

Next up in the reading and equally formidable was the highly extended index finger sitting above a Star of Jupiter, the mark of a leader, a man or woman of influence. The hands before me asked the owner (if he was ever to be pleased with his life) not only to invent and teach a novel system of personal growth, but to be in charge of its spread, to be the organizational chief of operations. Here was the third dragon on Mario's life path - to duel with this fire breather would require skills and determination of another kind altogether. As I pointed out to Mario, the leader types weren't usually so philosophic, the Philosopher types weren't usually so results oriented, etc. To me, his accomplishments were impressive: an intellectual, practical, insight based dragon triathlon. To Mario, it all seemed natural enough.

Love and Closeness

But now, the fingerprints. Mario's Life Purpose was Love and Closeness. Not just L & C, L & C as the spiritual Philosopher who invented a new system and was bringing it to the world. Ah - here's the rub. His life to now had been an uplifting journey but could he find someone to share it with? He had about given up on that one, he told me, but he felt the truth of the first three points, philosophically, emotionally and in his body down to his toes. The fourth dragon (the only one visible in his fingerprints) had been around all along and would be his companion for the rest of the trip.

The ten Looped person has the only set of fingerprints with a paradox of this sort: the very thing wished and hoped for the most is the very thing avoided at all costs. There are two basic themes that tend to occur with these prints. One category of Butterfly belongs to those with a specific talent or calling that cannot be ignored. Their opposite number are those with no particular career destination in mind. Mario and Camille were both of the first category. Inside each burned a passion for their work, an immense capacity to connect with others, but each faced the challenge of bringing Love and Closeness, spousal connection, directly into their own lives.

Mario's heart line was the Gina type (our nickname at the IIHA for the hot blooded, intense emotional type, as in Gina Lolabrigida, the Italian actress. Please excuse the old movie reference if you are half my age. I named the heart line types decades ago and they have become part of IIHA lore.) Mario had no trouble seeing his Gina side in his passion for work, in his willingness to fight (philosophically and spiritually of course) for justice and compassion. At their best, Gina types are charismatic and Mario had tapped Gina's alluring presence to bring to him his growing audience. It was only in his personal life that Gina had been in the closet.

For Mario with his ten Loops, the challenge of Love and Closeness will only be won within a Gina based relationship. Attempts to mate as a Clint type, for instance, are doomed. After all, if Mario is to reveal his heart to another, when all masks are removed, it is a passionate emotional self that stands to be revealed. Love this me or love me not. What else is a man or woman to do?

Clint is the IIHA shorthand for the self contained, stoic emotional type as in characters portrayed in any Clint Eastwood movie. Clints need freedom and usually have a work to do that comes ahead of any relationship. Mario had been taking the Clint role in his prior relationships ("I love you darling, but don't make me pick between my horse and you - sorry, gotta go."), the better to focus on the challenging career path he was on. But his heart line was Gina and with ten Loops no amount of job satisfaction would fulfill the soul's need for Love and Closeness - Love and Closeness as a successful philosopher to be sure, but Love and Closeness as a Gina styled successful Philosopher.

Mario smiled, a heated warm embracing smile. "Not what I expected," he said, "but much better."

Camille

Camille had a similar life story. Therapist / author with a combination academic scholarship and intuitive awareness, she too had invented a new approach to handling difficult circumstances. Like Mario she had succeeded, if not in changing the whole world, at least a piece of it and, she reported, she had the satisfaction of exceeding her highest professional expectations. Like Mario, Love and Closeness of the spousal variety was the subject at hand.

Unlike Mario who had put relationship on the back burner, Camille had married young and was still with her husband of twenty three years. Camille had clear looking Donna heart lines on both hands, an excellent combination given her work and Life Purpose. Donna is the IIHA nickname for the nurturing type, ala Donna Reed's role in It's a Wonderful Life and on her TV sitcom the Donna Reed Show. At their best, Donnas are big-hearted sweetie pies who have learned by experience not to be over-controlling. Savers of wounded birds and other two-legged species, Donnas must be careful to nourish themselves while taking care of others. Advanced Donna's are empathetic care-givers with appropriate boundaries.

A Delicious Dilemma

No matter the fingerprint chart, it is always a challenge when a Donna heart line person has a special talent. For women with this combination, the most common error mode is giving up career possibilities for husband and family. Sooner or later, too much attention to the Donna side of her nature will leave this talented woman feeling overly confined at home. There is no easy solution to the Delicious Dilemma. The heart wants connection, the special talent begs for action. Must I give up one for the other? You can try that, I tell my super talented Donna clients, you can even do that for a number of years and feel good doing so. On a life scale, however, both elements must find expression or the suppressed half of your nature will find a way to undo the good works of the other.

For men with the same combination (there are an equal number of males and females in each of the heart line designations) the common error is to focus too much on the talent side of the equation (in effect, becoming Clint-like, as Mario had done). Eventually, this lopsided approach will cause the man's ship of heart to sink like a stone. Having given up family time for career, he finds his passion for work exhausted and no home to come home to. Of course, some men go too far into Donna (too giving, no boundaries), some women behave not Donna enough and some in both genders find the right balance early on. Either way, the advice is the same: with a Gifted Donna, personal relationships and public achievement must both come to the fore. Attempts to do either one at the expense of the other cannot be successfully sustained for more than a few years at a time.

For Camille, the Gifted Donna Delicious Dilemma was compounded by her ten Loops. To make matters worse, she was not just gifted, she was superbly gifted. My, my, what to do? No matter how much time she spent at home, Camille always seemed to want more. No matter how much success she attained, there always seemed to be more she wanted to do.

"Welcome to your life Camille. It is not just a function of your current circumstances that you are pulled in these two directions at once. It has nothing to do with your current book tour or the current state of your family dynamics. With hands like yours, increased self-awareness makes you even more conscious of the pull to both home and career. It is a function of your excellence in each camp that the pull feels so strong. Worse would be if you were only being pulled in either of your two directions."

"I need more time to write and speak. There are so many people who need help. But I need to be with my family more. It is so hard to leave them when I travel."

"Uh huh."

"Oh," said Camille, "I see what you mean. No arrangement will make this feeling disappear completely. Hmmm. That is actually quite freeing, you know. I guess I can just go ahead and continue juggling as best I can."

Jasper

Jasper is a good representative of the second theme common to these fingerprints. This group of ten Loopers hop from job to job (and sometimes relationship to relationship) hence the title: The Butterfly. I met Jasper at BJ's 40th birthday party, a large catered affair held on Paradise Drive. BJ was a high-powered business woman and a friend. Jasper was the question mark of the family, a nice guy but, at age 38, he had not as yet any idea what he wanted to do with his life. BJ had arranged for me to read his hands downstairs that night while the well heeled were upstairs being entertained by a professional story teller accompanied by an electric violinist / sound effects person.

Jasper was glad to leave the throngs for the quiet of downstairs. I was hesitant. I didn't want to impose a reading on someone who didn't want one and at the same time, I didn't want to disappoint BJ. Jasper put me at ease. "The only thing I am good at is family and friends," Jasper said. "I love my wife and kids. I've got a good bunch of pals. The only problem, if you want to call it that, is work. My mom, dad and sisters are all super successful types and I'm basically just hanging out. They keep trying to help me even if I don't feel I need fixing, but if you can tell me anything about career, I'd sure be glad to hear it." Jasper smiled a friendly smile and I proceeded to look over his hands. Hand shape and lines showed no particular burning issues, no hidden self yearning to breathe free. His fingerprints were all Loops: The Butterfly.

I have never seen anybody so genuinely happy to receive the news about his Life Purpose. Or maybe it just seemed that way because when Jasper is happy he radiates a warmth that fills the room. "That is all I need to hear," Jasper announced. "I thought I was on course all along. I wonder what my sister's Life Purpose is? With all her success, she never seems to be happy with things. Is she actually a Butterfly like me?"

Summary

Mario, Camille and Jasper are just three examples of the all-Loops fingerprint chart. The possibilities are limitless. There is the woman I read for about a year ago who I nicknamed 'Spock' in her reading. She couldn't haven't been more mental yet here she was with Love and Closeness as her Life Purpose. Any relationship success at all would make the front pages of the Earth University Gazette. Then there are those who are so good at feeling anything and everything they do little else. Every day is a soap opera of competing emotions pouring out all over any family member, milkman or good Samaritan who just happens to be passing by. Also on the list are the numerous All Love All the Time workshop leaders and therapists still struggling to get to first base in their own love lives. Their advice may be blessed, but can they find the formula to Love and Closeness with this set of parents, this spouse, etc.?

Perhaps that is the key: Masters of the Emotional Plane have found their own formula. They have learned to be present in their emotional bodies and deal with whatever life sends their way. There is something real about them, something that may be hard to describe but you know it when you see it. I'll leave you with one last thought on the subject: Emotional Mastery is a direction to move toward as opposed to a destination to arrive at. You (and I) have permission to learn along the way. We don't need to be perfect already. Let's see just how much we can enjoy the journey.