One of the issues I see repeatedly in my readings revolves around Standing Up for oneself. Whether the circumstances involve family members, a job, one's spouse or friends it is not always clear whether to draw a line in the sand, defending your turf with all your strength, or to turn the other cheek, let it pass, seek accomodation. The challenge can be particularly worrisome if your fingerprints include a fellow named "Mr. Not Enough." More on him later.

Imagine the following: your father says it will kill your mother if you continue to opt for career A instead of career B. Mom, as if on cue, coughs and shakes just enough to signal her vulnerability to the plague, benghie fever, heart disease or any other number of potentially fatal inflictions; her pre-death rattle indicating her fate is in your hands. Or your main squeeze announces that monogamy is a plot perpetuated by the extremist contingent of the religious right and that (s)he will not be limited in love to only one partner. Arriving at work, you find someone already parked in your parking space. Later that day, your boss asks you to make some coffee.

What is going on here? Two possibilities come to mind. Possibility One: your parents are right. You are inappropriately employed, grossly under-utilizing your talents. The guilt trip stuff is just your imagination, mom didn't even twitch. It is part of your job description to make the coffee at work, another point in your parents' argument. Regarding your love life: the truth is you are relieved to hear your partner communicate so clearly about opening your relationship, weren't you thinking the same yourself?

Possibility Number Two

Then again, how is it that everyone feels they have the right to tell you what to do with your life? Your parents don't tell your older sister what to do. Whose life is this anyway? If you had listened to them you would have married Fred, the dentist from Toledo and then where would you be today? Well, at least you wouldn't be stuck with a lover who tells you one thing on Monday and another on Tuesday. Or have a boss who treats you like a slave. The entire Universe is trying to get your attention. Even your parking space knows you have abdicated your power. It is time to take a stand.

Or maybe it isn't. Acch. How does one know for sure?

John Wayne and Mother Teresa

John Wayne never seems to be on this fence. Not trapped in a never ending internal debate, he knows when and how to take his stand. There he is, rifle in hand, facing down an outlaw posse. "This here prisoner is mine," declares sheriff Wayne, "and I'm bringin' him to Yuma for trial and proper hangin'." They can kill JW if they choose, but not before he gets one or two of them first.
We know how the scene will end. John Wayne is not bluffing. Everyone can see it. It is in his eyes, in his stance, in the script. Non-fictional, non-violent Mother Teresa, she too stood up to overwhelming odds, consequences be damned. But what about your life?

What Are You Willing To Fight For?

It is one thing to fight for justice or starving children, but how can you stand up for yourself against a parent, a spouse, a boss, etc. if you are not even sure what you are willing to fight for? Maybe it is time to find the answer to that question. Maybe that's why all this is going on.

Two More Possibilities

When a client's life story sounds like the opening paragraphs of this Newsletter I check to see whether the Stand Up Issue appears in the fingerprints or the lines and hand shape. If it is the latter, the issue may be an isolated one, a challenge associated with this specific person or set of life circumstances. Meet the challenge, alter a behavior or two, and the issue departs.

Often, however, the challenge was already marked in the fingerprints five months before birth. In this case there is no behavior that will rid my client of this type of circumstance. Change jobs, spouses, etc. and the Stand Up Issue will return. Why? Because he or she will still have the same fingerprints next year and for the rest of his or her life.

Is my client (and everyone else on the planet) doomed to never ending self-doubt? Not at all. Fingerprints do not change, the issues shown in them are a life constant, but the ability to handle these issues effectively is completely in our own hands. To illustrate this concept, let's look at the fingerprints below with Mr Not Enough appearing as the Life Lesson. Standing Up issues often involve fingerprint patterns similar to these.

Mr. Not Enough as the Life Lesson

In the case above, the low ranking tented arch fingerprints on both Jupiter and Saturn form a combination that at the IIHA we have nicknamed "Mr. Not Enough." Mr. Not Enough is that voice inside telling you that you are insufficient, Not OK, etc. This section of your consciousness cannot be deterred by excellent performance or outcomes. Climb Mt. Everest and Mr. Not Enough says, "Six days? It should have been four."